Leonardo DiCaprio celebrated the New Year in St Barts. With models, obviously.

Here he is this on the weekend relaxing on the beach, surrounded by beautiful young women. How this is different from any other time of year I’m not sure. “Like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio.” THANK YOU, Tina Fey. I can’t wait until next Sunday.

Is part of the entertainment watching the girls jockey for position, trying to out-gorgeous each other for his attention? Reminds me of how it used to work for the very wealthy in old China (and probably still today). There’s a film about this called Raise The Red Lantern. A rich man with several wives. With whom does he choose to spend the night? He decides by hanging a red lantern outside her room. That way, the entire household knows she’s the chosen one. She gets her feet massaged. The kitchen staff serve her favourite foods. The other concubines have to each sh-t.

But the next day… the competition begins all over again.

That’s probably how Leo’s beach works too.