Hotel bills add up quickly, right? A few snacks from the mini bar, valet parking, WiFi (for the annoying hotels that still charge for it), a $15 movie, and you’ve tacked an extra 50% onto your bill, easy.

So of course for celebrities, it’s magnified. And because of an unpaid bill, Lindsay Lohan is banned from the Chateau Marmont. I repeat, she is banned from the Chateau Marmont. This is a hotel that prides itself on its debaucherous reputation, known for protecting the privacy of its celebrity guests, and is rewarded with a constant stream of them. I had dinner with a reporter from US Weekly there once and she told me that she never pays by credit card or makes any mention of work when she is there because she would be banned – the staff actively keeps an eye out for tabloid writers. The Chateau is extremely celebrity-oriented, to say the least.

So what will get you kicked out? Well, cutting out on a $50,000 bill in 47 days. On the itemized list: 49 packs of cigarettes ($14 each), $3,145.07 at the minibar – that’s a lot of macadamia nuts for someone who often claims not to drink. TMZ has the itemized bill if you care to see what $46, 350.04 in hotel charges looks like.

Cue the generic statement that it’s all a “misunderstanding” and “people making up rumours”. But various media outlets, including PR mouthpiece Gossip Cop, confirmed the story; Lohan was asked to remove her things from the property on August 1. She was evicted, straight up.

She can’t even do wrong right, you know? If you are going to get banned from the Chateau, at least have it be because of some legendary rock ‘n’ roll antics, not because you are a broke-ass mooch who can’t even pay your bill in installments – she’d been there since May 30, you think she would have been able to put down cash over the summer. (Lainey: can you imagine if she had to work out a payment plan like they do for your couch at the furniture store? I love this so much.) And she probably could have, but didn’t bother because she would never, ever think she would be asked to leave, let alone banned.

Now she’s persona non grata on the entire property, including the restaurant and bar. A lot of parties happen at the Chateau, a lot of discreet meet-ups. So how long until she pulls up to the front and tries to go in, fronting like she belongs there? I give it a week, tops.

Or maybe Lady Gaga will pay the hotel bill for her friend. You know they had a sleepover there in late July, right? Interestingly, Gaga wrote that they “woke up on the floor of suite 64” but Lindsay’s letter states she was in suite 33. So someone else got stuck with the minibar bill that night. Lindsay’s probably frantically texting her right now.

Source: TMZ