I’m sure you’ve heard...

Deadline reported yesterday that Lindsay Lohan is negotiating to star in a Lifetime movie about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. I know your first inclination is to punch yourself in the face from disgust. I get it.


It’s not HBO.


You have to appreciate how funny this is. Like, really, really, really funny.

You know who makes tv movies for Lifetime?

How about Jennifer Love Hewitt? How about LeAnn Rimes? How about Mischa Barton just shot a Lifetime movie? It’s the only job she could get for a while.

Lindsay Lohan is now doing Lifetime movies.

Lindsay Lohan is being sent the same kind of material as Jennifer Love Hewitt, LeAnn Rimes, and Mischa Barton. Come now. This isn’t funny?

Lindsay Lohan used to be a movie star. Lindsay Lohan now has to consider roles in cheesy ass Lifetime movies. Lifetime movies are usually shot over a month. With a limited budget. If she’s considering a role in a Lifetime movie, and I don’t give a sh-t if it’s the lead, it means she has nothing else to consider.

You know, Jennifer Love Hewitt was cast in an atrocious tv movie about Audrey Hepburn many, many years ago. It came and went. This sh-t happens. The stink stays on the actor way longer than it does on the viewer.

That said, if she works hard, if she keeps her sh-t together, could Lindsay Lohan turn it around? Take the Robert Downey Jr road? Well, she is her mother’s daughter. So...

Now we wait for Dina Lohan to declare her daughter’s performance worthy of the Academy changing its rules to allow television performances for inclusion in the nomination process. 

Attached - Lindsay in a new Philipp Plein ad campaign.