Madonna’s Hard Candy drops in April – in the coming weeks, the queen of marketing will be pushing herself heavy… Yay! No one self promotes like Madonna, but no one. And watching it is pure joy. My main mo Darren and I were talking about it last night. Bitch is 50 this year and 18 year olds still care. Madge is just that f&cking smart and It.

She’s also, perhaps, the worst lyricist, like, ever. And it’s kinda of the best thing ever, too. Lyrics so amazing full of sh*t and yet she commits to them not only without embarrassment but with fierce pride. Check it out… Madonna on collaborating with Justin Timberlake:

"I really enjoy writing with Justin...We had psychoanalytic sessions whenever we wrote songs first. We"d sit down and we"d start talking about situations. And then we"d start talking about issues or problems or relationships with people. That was the only way, because you know, writing together with somebody is very intimate...that was fun, because he"s open and he"s got talent. He"s a songwriter. I haven"t worked with a lot of songwriters where I"m instantly connected and start riffing and playing with the rhythm of the words. He"s as interested in the rhythm of the words as the meaning of the words."

Maybe this is the problem then, non? That the rhythm of the words negate the meaning of the words? Is that why I Love New York (off her last album) ended up like this? Read this genius:

I don"t like cities, but I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork
Los Angeles is for people who sleep
Paris and London, baby you can keep

Baby you can keep

Other cities always make me mad
Other places always make me sad
No other city ever made me glad
Except New York
I love New York
I love New York
I love New York

If you don"t like my attitude, then you can F-off
Just go to Texas, isn"t that where they golf?
New York is not for little pussies who scream
If you can"t stand the heat, then get off my street

Seriously… this sh-t is so bad, it’s better than being good. F&ck I love her. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t love Madonna.