I’m not actually sure why the internet did not shut the f-ck down once these pictures became available. For weeks now, ever since Mimi and her billionaire ended their engagement, there have been rumours that Bryan Tanaka, her backup dancer, has stepped in to distract her from her heartbreak. 

Well, here she is in Hawaii with him, kissing and frolicking. Click here to see more pictures. I can only afford to buy one because these are PREMIUM. Because Mimi is PREMIUM. Because photos like this, featuring Mimi at play in the ocean, elegant and graceful, are obviously PREMIUM. Only the best for our butterfly! (Keep in mind too that our butterfly’s new “docuseries”, Mariah’s World, premieres in 3 days and I guess it’s been re-edited to feature Bryan, a lot of Bryan.)

The shot of them kissing as she’s hitching her leg up like she's trying to get it, I don’t know, around his waist? Like she’s Ginger Rogers to his Fred Astaire? THIS IS THE AIR I BREATHE. Not just because she’s about as coordinated as I am (I am not coordinated at all) but because in her mind, she actually floats, she’s a light-footed ballerina and it’s the job of everyone around her at all times to confirm – sometimes physically, as Bryan is attempting to do here – that she is indeed what she believes herself to be: a light-footed ballerina. No wait. A light-footed SKINNY ballerina.

One more thing, in case you weren’t already hysterical, Nick Cannon just posted this on Instagram:


#TBT This is how you do it! LOL #IkeTurnUp #WePetty

A photo posted by LORD NCREDIBLE ALMIGHTY 🕉IkeT🆙 (@nickcannon) on