Mimi is the living embodiment of EXTRA. Everything is extra – her clothes, her shows, her baths, her presence. So, when she breaks up with someone, it’s never going to be small. It’s always going to be EXTRA. This is an extra f-cking breakup.

According to TMZ Mimi is not only keeping her $10 million ring, she’s also expecting James Packer to pay her $50 million. Like a divorce settlement, only they never got married so… a disengagement settlement? Is there an official word for a broken engagement? Marriage is to divorce as engagement is to …?

Does that mean you have to prenup your engagements now? Are we looking at a monumental precedent?

Mimi will no longer be taking on the role of Mrs Packer. But supposedly she still deserves severance pay. For these reasons:

-She moved her kids from NY to LA for James
-Whatever happened on that yacht and whatever he did to her assistant on that yacht has left a scar so distressing that it can only be healed by a massive cheque (what is it with celebrity breakups precipitated by high end travel lately?)
-“He made various financial promises to her”

What financial promises?

Come on. We’ve talked about this. Many times. Remember, Mimi is demure and modest. She herself is very clear about the fact that she has a low “number”. Have you seen this video? If so, you need to revisit it. If not, OMG. What have you been doing with your life?! Anyway, one of Mimi’s favourite things to say is that she’s Mary Poppins – 2:55:

See? She can name on one hand all her lovers. She doesn’t put out unless it’s serious, unless it’s official, like with a diamond boulder on her hand. And even after that, every base along the way must be earned!

So… how many times do you have to run the bases to get to $50 million?!