Here is the series of overexcited texts I sent Lainey when I saw the response the Olsens gave to the Women’s Wear Daily reporter who asked them about returning to Full House.

In case there’s any doubt – they are not going to be on this show. There is no chance. They have not made one guest appearance, one ironic appearance on TV. They don’t goof on themselves self-deprecatingly. They don’t even present awards, and don’t think they don’t get asked.

What they’re doing here is skillfully trolling you while simultaneously not appearing to be jerks. What they’re saying inside their heads is “I would never, ever, ever. Why would I go back to doing something I haven’t needed to do since I was 8 years old? Should I also complete a spelling worksheet?”

But they know the show is beloved, so why sh-t on it in public? Why invite people to say ‘that’s the show that made you, Olsens!’ Instead they shrug, and eventually will say that there were ‘scheduling issues’. This is a classy move, and just another reason why the Olsens dominate so well. Every move is planned, analyzed, and executed with precision.