Variety reported yesterday that Megan Fox will star as April O’Neill in Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Bay also confirmed it on his website. It is not an animated movie. When Sarah messaged to tell me this, my first reaction was disappointment. Maybe a little sympathy.

As you know, Fox and Bay broke up (as friends) a few years ago after she called him Hitler and he told her she was lazy. She then tried to get in with the Apatow crew but that, obviously, hasn’t worked out. Her husband’s television show was also recently cancelled.  She makes money promoting laptops and some other electronics and they were invited to Brasil to be gawped at recently. The point is, “acting income” isn’t exactly strong right now. And, well, I guess it was time to take the jobs you can get, even if it means reuniting with a misogynistic pig and giving up on your ambitions of being a serious actor. (And I’m surprised Bay was willing to take her back considering she’s a mother now and he probably thinks women who’ve had babies are disgusting.) TMNT is not a serious actor’s decision. Unless of course this was a “take this and we might give you this” scenario from the studio -- which legend has it is why Gwyneth Paltrow did The Pall Bearer for Emma -- only those kinds of options seem unlikely for someone like Megan Fox, if not only because of her perceived lack of skill but also, and it must be said, how she’s transformed, no pun intended, physically.

More and more, casting agents are looking for less “work” on the face. Those are the faces that belong in reality television. Film requires a more “natural” presentation. Megan Fox has arguably....gone beyond.

Here’s what was most WTF about this development though:

Apparently Fox beat out Anna Kendrick and Elisabeth Olsen for the role.

Do you understand what just happened...?

WHY are Anna Kendrick and Elisabeth Olsen even trying to be considered for a part in TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES?!?

It goes back to what Sarah posited last year -- they all need franchises now.

They’re still looking for a male lead for TMNT. I heard a few years ago that Hayden Christensen was a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been calling...