I don’t understand why Birdman keeps getting categorized as a comedy. It’s weird and has its funny moments, but it’s not a comedy. And yet at the Golden Globes and the Critics’ Choice Awards it was classified as a comedy. I’m fine with splitting drama and comedy categories for award purposes, but if that’s going to happen then can you please nominate actual comedies and not dramas that have some humorous dialogue? It defeats the purpose of the split categories if all you’re doing is ignoring actual comedies in order to sneak in more dramatic nominees.

Things got even more confusing when Michael Keaton won Best Actor for both comedy AND drama. How is that even possible? It seems to me if you’re nominated in one category you ought to be ruled out of the other. Otherwise you’re tacitly saying that the split categories are bullsh*t because you can’t even scrounge up ten different nominees. But this gave Keaton plenty of opportunities to speechify—he also collected the Best Ensemble award on behalf of the Birdman cast—and he continued his Award Season Goodwill Tour by giving good speeches. Lainey said he rubbed her the wrong way but I think she hadn’t taken enough painkillers because I found his speeches sincere and amusing. Also the floor is lava.