Michael Pena Gossip

In what is hopefully the last gasp of his typical Hollywood action career, before he fully embraces his destiny as a comedy grunt, Chris Hemsworth stars in 12 Strong, a movie so patriotic and mediocre you’d think it was directed by late-era Clint Eastwood. Full Story

SPOILERS because this movie is INSANE Based on the trailers, you probably think Collateral Beauty, aka Will Smith’s holiday movie, is some kind of twenty-first century It’s A  Wonderful Life, where the universe conspires to convince a sad schmuck that he’s better off being a sad schmuck, and he should learn to appreciate the little things that go with being a sad schmuck, like pleasant memories and warm air sometimes. Full Story

Paul Rudd is stealing time. That is the only explanation. I have considered every possible option for how he has not aged in the last twenty years, and I have deduced that Paul Rudd is a time bandit. It’s the only thing that makes sense. He can’t be a vampire because he is frequently seen in daylight, and I don’t think there’s enough unicorn blood in the world to sustain someone for twenty years, which leaves the option that Paul Rudd is an extra-dimensional being who consumes earth time like water. Full Story

The (first) premiere (of many) for Ant-Man was last night in Los Angeles, and Paul Rudd and his time-defying face were there to christen his new superhero movie. This is being billed as Rudd’s “first” leading-man role, because he’s known best to general audiences for being an ensemble player in comedies like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Anchorman. Full Story

With Avengers: Age of Ultron less than a month from opening—and now screening for critics, who are almost universally singing its praises Full Story

The Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre celebrated its 45th anniversary on Saturday. I just… I can’t… We can’t talk about Michael Pena. So let’s focus instead on John Travolta who was there with Kelly Preston, because they’re always there, because when they’re not there he ends up, well, you know, getting a massage. Full Story

The first full trailer for Fury, starring Brad Pitt, Michael Pena, Logan Lerman, and Shia LaBeouf was released today. I can rarely sit through a war movie – and I suppose that’s how you’re supposed to feel. But…not to sound like an insensitive c-nt… Brad Pitt’s character’s name is Wardaddy. Full Story

Xenu had a birthday party the other day. It was the 44th anniversary of the Celebrity Scientology Centre and most of the notables who haven’t been excommunicated where there including the usuals – John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Jenna Elfman, and …Michael Pena? Where the f-ck have I been? I love Michael Pena! Michael Pena loves Xenu? Michael Pena is in End Of Watch, one of my Top 10 movies of 2012 Full Story