Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger spent most of the weekend in Nashville. But before that, it was Art Basel and Miami. And parties. And everyone’s been all like, Maria Shriver’s wholesome boy is getting corrupted by the bad girl of pop.


Patrick Schwarzenegger grew up stupid rich and super connected in Hollywood with Kennedy blood raging through his body. You think this is his first time? You really think he’s corruptible? According to TMZ that kid was well familiar with that kind of scene before he and Miley started dating. In fact, it might be Patrick who’s more wild than she is. Patrick then would be the one who’s more familiar with that lifestyle. And the regulars of that lifestyle.

Oh. There it is. It’s Hollywood’s infectious disease, Paris Hilton. And US Weekly reports that Miley Cyrus was making out with it on Thursday night in front of Patrick. It’s no different than whatever would have been going on at any frat or sorority house across America at the same time. I vaguely remember sticking my tongue down a girl’s throat in university while my boyfriend watched at a house party. BUT that girl wasn’t Paris Hilton, the dreaded curse, the Ebola of Hollywood. If I’d kissed that virus piece of sh-t my life would be ruined. I would never have graduated. I never would have met my friends. I never would have gotten a job. I never would have known any more joy.

That’s what Miley Cyrus just did. She’s jeopardised everything. And just as the year is closing. As the Winter Solstice approaches to mark the end of the Year of the Horse, as we move into weirdly unpredictable in-between season between signs, when we should be harvesting our luck for the year ahead, Miley’s pretty much injected herself with poison. If 2015 ends up being terrible for her, now you know why.