Hello, it is I, Real Science Person Doing Real Science, back again with more extremely scientific rankings for your consumption. This time, I have undertaken detailed and highly specific experiments in order to determine which are the very best suits worn by Daniel Craig during his fifteen-year reign as 007. James Bond has always been associated with fine suits, but it feels like in the Craig era that went up a notch since the suits were written into the story, as Craig’s Bond started out not owning a proper dinner jacket, and evolved into the guy with the slick Tom Ford wardrobe. Therefore, my experiments attempt to synthesize style, story purpose, overall sartorial elegance, and that more nebulous X-factor “how hot does Daniel Craig look right now” into a single and completely arbitrary scale. Once again, I am joined by my assistant, Midnight Wine, who is full of distractions and horrible ideas. Let us begin.
Casino Royale: THE dinner jacket
As Vesper Lynd says, there are dinner jackets, and then there are dinner jackets. This is the latter. Casino Royale, with costumes by Lindy Hemming, is chock full of amazing clothes, but this Brioni tux is the suit that turns 007 into “Bond, James Bond”. This is the moment the character learns to appreciate fine tailoring, and that he stops wearing suits like a nuisance uniform and starts wearing them like weapons. And he learned all of it from Vesper, the best Bond woman of the Craig era. Eva Green really left such a huge impression on this entire franchise, it sort of makes me wish they hadn’t killed Vesper off. She could have been the Irene Adler to Bond’s Sherlock, the one who got away, the woman who bested Bond. As it is, she’s the woman who dressed Bond the best.
Ranking: The suit that started it all
Quantum of Solace: Brown Tom Ford
In Quantum of Solace, a film that does not work on its own but works great if you watch it with Casino Royale, Bond switched costume designers and suit designers. Louise Frogley took over costuming and she brought in Tom Ford for the suits, an interesting pairing as Bond is the epitome of (white) British masculinity and Tom Ford is all American elegance. But it has been a fruitful collaboration over the years, starting with this brown suit. Bond doesn’t often wear colors outside the blue-grey scale—I assume because of Craig’s eyes—so this suit really stands out as one of the few color breaks the character ever took. And Solace Bond is a goddamn mess, still reeling from Vesper’s death, so it makes sense he’s grabbing clothes that don’t really look like the suits he wore around Vesper. The color is also a nice hint of where the story is going, literally, since the finale takes place in a desert. Points for sartorial foreshadowing.
Ranking: Brown never looked so good
Skyfall: Classic blue suit
I am now realizing that have not yet picked a blue suit, and blue being Bond’s signature color in the Craig era, here we go, a classic blue suit. It’s by Tom Ford, but Jany Temime takes over as costume designer on this film. What sells me on this particular suit, out of all the blue suits, is the contrasting pattern between the pinstripe on the suiting and the check on the tie. The world of menswear is ever-expanding to accommodate more color and texture, but when you’re going for classic like Bond, there aren’t too many options to play around. Contrasting the patterns on the suit and tie is a nice, modern touch for a classic look.
Ranking: Honestly, Q is the best-dressed person in this movie
Spectre: Ivory dinner jacket
Spectre is the worst of Craig’s Bond movies, but it has his best suits. It was so hard to pick just one! Suits are once again provided by Tom Ford, under the guidance of returning costume designer Jany Temime. Ultimately, I had to go with the ivory dinner jacket because, like the brown suit, it’s such a departure from what we normally see on both Bond, the character, and Craig, the person. Also, because Bond sits while wearing this tux, he unbuttons the jacket which hides the weird tiny fit of all these Tom Ford suits. Fashion insists tiny suits are Hot Like Hansel, but I disagree. Not even the fittest men look their best in an ill-fitting suit. I can only assume tiny suits are popular because they cost less to produce.
Ranking: Damn the cost, fix the fit!
No Time To Die: Suspenders!
With No Time To Die only just in theaters, screen shots are limited, but Entertainment Weekly gave us a preview that includes a clear shot of Bond’s (rumpled and dirty) corduroy suit. It’s from designer Massimo Alba, under the guidance of new-to-the-franchise costume designer Suttirat Anne Larlarb. This suit is another departure look for Bond, as it is meant to look off-the-rack, and not bespoke. Makes sense, this is Bond on yet another retirement, flitting about Europe with Dr. Madeleine Swann. Presumably, the tailored duds are back home in London and he’s shopping off the rack as needed on his travels. But that’s not why I chose this suit, no, I chose it because of the SUSPENDERS.
On men, on women, on everyone in between, suspenders are IT. Wear them on your trousers, wear them on your garters—wear them on your garters under your trousers—it doesn’t matter, suspenders are one of the hottest items of clothing ever created, that is a FACT. Have you ever peeled suspenders off someone? No? Do it and change your life. And men? With shirts off and suspenders down? Come on. That’s been hot since 1802. Actually, it’s a pretty good look on women, too. Suspenders: They’re for everyone!
Ranking: They look best on the floor
Casino Royale teeny tiny swim trunks
OF COURSE, this is the best suit James Bond ever wore in the Craig era, it’s the suit that MADE the Craig era. Daniel Craig ate so much sh-t on the internet from the moment he was even RUMORED to be up for Bond—remember the whole “Craig Not Bond” nonsense?!—and the moment he emerged from the sea like Ursula Andress in these La Perla trunks is the moment he pried open the metaphorical jaws of his haters and shoved all that sh-t right back down their throats and held their mouths closed until they swallowed all of it. Graphic! But so are these trunks!
Ranking: look at it LOOK AT IT