All this Zayn Malik One Direction drama is making me think a lot about Spice Girls and Take That. Oh look. Here are new pictures of Robbie Williams performing in Paris this week. As I wrote the other day, after Ritchie reminded me, Robbie's breakup from Take That was a major crisis moment for fans. Not unlike what the One Directioners are going through. (NOOOOOOOO! You will never know how we feel!! You will never understand!!! There's nothing like teen pain narcissism is there?)

Maybe then, this song is appropriate. In the most cheesy radio voice ever, like that wedding DJ in Love Actually, I dedicate this to those dedicated to One Direction. Note that in our generation, the band's deserter wore an ankle-length fur trimmed coat. So. Don't you try and tell us about pain! We KNOW pain!