Hand Fixation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 24, 2011 08:58:40 March 24, 2011 08:58:40

Ever since his tea-pouring hands were highlighted in Vanity Fair, I’ve been fixated. Now I’m not sure whether or not at any given moment if they really are so creepily delicate and weird, or if I’m imagining it.

Check out Robert Pattinson with Reese Witherspoon on the cover of the new issue of Entertainment Weekly promoting Water For Elephants. There’s something about that hand, right? It’s freakin’ me out. Like they added random hairs to it just to make it less…gross. Still, it looks almost… fake.

OMG I have a fake hand story.

Last week at St Andrews we were shooting an interview with the manager of the hotel, let’s call him Bob, where Kate Middleton famously modelled that sheer dress. And while Dylan and our sound guy Martin were setting up the lights etc, I was talking to Bob about the town and his golf handicap – he’s played the Old Course over 1,000 times! – and I’m telling him about how I just broke 100 last year and about finding a new putter, and he’s showing me a putting technique and then Dylan is placing us in position and moving us around, and when we’re ready to roll, Dylan was all like, oh dude, can you just move your other hand this way, and Bob was like…

But I’ve only got one hand.

At which point ALL THREE of us zoom in on the fake hand that none of us had noticed. Please. There’s nothing like a fake hand to get me obsessed. I am all over it. I could barely focus. All I wanted to do was talk about the fake hand. He can do everything with the fake hand. The man has a 2 handicap in gold with one hand and he uses a garden hose to hold the club in place in the other. It’s incredible. I almost asked him to tie his shoelace, which he said he could do, but thought that might be too much…?

Anyway, the point is, Bob’s fake hand looks like Robert Pattinson’s weird tea-hands except Bob’s hand is, obviously, not real and meant to look real-ish while Rob’s hand is real but looks totally fake-ish and I’m pretty sure that’s worse. Click here to read the EW article or don’t bother and just scroll down to read the Twi-Hards fighting with each other which is, as always, infinitely more entertaining.

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