Sarah Jessica Parker let into her house to answer 73 questions. Before we begin, please know that I don’t notice home sh-t. It’s never my focus. I’ve never watched a home improvement show. I don’t buy home design magazines. But I understand that it’s a huge industry and that people get really into it so by all means, please let me know your thoughts on her couch and her paint colour and what you think of her lighting. It would be my education. For the purposes of this post though, I’m just focusing on what she’s saying and how this happened.

The point is we’re supposed to believe it’s spontaneous. Some dude knocks on her door and she lets him in and he asks and she answers and it’s meant to look seamless and because she’s an actor, after all, she does indeed give us the illusion that there would have been no rehearsal (don’t tell me she came up with “aria” off the top of her head) and that it really did happen all in one go. That you could walk up to her brownstone and basically do the same thing.

It doesn’t look like I imagined it would look though. And that’s because I thought this was her living room:

That was from her VOGUE spread in 2011. Why did I have the impression it was actually inside her home? Was it?

But holy sh-t NY real estate. From this angle, her place looks the same size as my place. I assure you my place was not millions of dollars for small square footage.

Other notes:

Why doesn’t she like orange? She looks great in orange. Better than that shade of blue she’s so fond of.

Those are the perfect waves.

Those are such “New York” answers. And she shouldn’t apologise for it.

The Way We Were? That’s a blurred line, right? “Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.” SIGHHHHHHHH. (Oh, hi millenials. Do you know Katie Morosky?)

Can you imagine SJP in a Lars von Trier film?

Blackberry!? Are you going to shame her for that? The thing is, God, if Blackberry could get their sh-t together, I would go back too.

SJP and Coca-Cola, coming right up.

And YES. Milk chocolate! Because dark chocolate is DUMB.