Hi Sasha, I’m mixed race (1/4 African, 1/4 Brazilian and 2/4 Irish), my boyfriend is of African descent, and we have an adorable 20-month-old daughter, who just looks Caucasian with blue eyes (my paternal grandmother had blue eyes).

My boyfriend and I met in high school and have been together for 7 years, but we haven’t spoken face to face in almost 11 months now. His family never liked me, and after the birth of our daughter, they kept saying she wasn’t his, and pressured him to ask for a paternity test. I’ve never slept with anyone else, so it’s impossible that she isn’t his.

He tried to side with me at first, but after about 9 months, when our daughter wasn’t getting any darker I guess, they got to his head and he started to doubt me. I felt hurt and betrayed, and so I said no to the paternity test and it’s now been over 10 months, and not much has changed to our situation…. I still feel like after everything we’ve been through, my boyfriend should trust me, as he knows very well that he’s the only one I’ve ever been with… what would you do?


I would stash away my pride and simply take the paternity test. 

Listen, I hear you, it sucks that your boyfriend and his family don't get how genes work and haven't figured out that mixed kids come in all shades, but come on, this has gone on far too long, and the only person getting screwed in all of this is your daughter. S, if your honor is the only thing holding you back from putting an end to this baby drama, then I think it’s time to get a grip and end the power trip on both sides.  

At the end of the day, the person that really matters is your daughter. Making sure that she has a supportive and loving family is what’s important, so if your boyfriend and his family are capable of that then drop your weapons. 

That said…. I know you think you’re standing up for yourself by staying firm in your decision but S, true delicious satisfaction will come in the form of watching their asses groveling for your forgiveness.

Thanks for writing in and keep me posted! xx Oh and of course keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming my way to [email protected]