The Walking Dead Season 3 Episode 11 recap.

I’m watching this immediately following an uneven, horribly directed Oscar telecast that felt like it took all year. I’m hopped up on caffeine and a little cranky and feeling like I have no patience for stupid Andrea and Woodbury. Which is a problem because this episode has a lot of Andrea and Woodbury.

Current standings: Rick is for staying, Herschel wants to leave, Merle is like, “The Governor will kill us all”. Merle is making the best case right now.

Oh, so now Glenn is on Rick’s side? WTF is up with how they’re writing Glenn lately? Jesus, this show. So much potential, so many great characters, and they cannot stick to any one thing. Frustrating. (A little more than halfway through recapping Walking Dead season 3 and Justified season 4, Justified is emerging as my favorite. It’s just so damn consistent. I never worry about Justified falling victim to magical thinking or suddenly rewriting a character halfway through his arc.)

Oh snap. Herschel calls Rick out for that whole “losing his godd*mn mind” thing, and tells him to take ownership of his self-proclaimed status as their leader. I’m still waiting for someone to call it a “Ricktatorship”.

I wonder about the bath situation at the prison, but I also wonder how Rick manages to groom his five o’clock shadow. It’s always there but never develops into a proper beard. Magic!

Carl thinks Rick should quit. That’s because Carl sucks. He is truly Horrible Lori’s son.

Andrea and Woodbury. Ugh.

At least she’s properly challenging the Governor. It ends in a classic “if you go, stay” ultimatum because the Governor is an assh*le.

And Glenn is back to being a dick.

Herschel tries to reason with Merle, who may not be as crazy as people think. He’s an assh*le but he’s canny. Herschel sees the value of keeping him around, which may end up being the key to their survival. He’s their insight into the Governor.

The Governor is going to make the asthmatic teenager join his army. So that kid is doomed.

I’m glad to see Daryl working on his arrows. I have questions about how he maintains his gear, and this goes a long way to addressing them. Now, if we could just solve the mystery of Rick’s razor situation…

Creepy doctor is creepy.

He’s also reluctant to help Andrea sneak out to go to the prison to try and reason with Rick & Co. to prevent further bloodshed. Naturally, he tattles to the Governor immediately. Seriously, how does Andrea not get the extent of how bad this situation is getting? She sees the child soldiers, the battlements, she disagrees with the Governor’s leadership, and yet she still honestly thinks she has some chance of stopping things. Starting to feel like she’s going to die very, very badly.

Ew, the Governor’s eye hole! Whatever else goes on with this show, no one does horror beats better or more consistently.

The Governor in his eye patch. Iconic image from the comics.

EW ZOMBIE DISMEMBERMENT. Andrea and Mengele are catching zombies.


Oh look, it’s Tyrese!

And Michonne speaks! Merle’s all, “Sorry about that whole hunting you thing. Let’s be friends?”

Ruh roh. Mengele takes Tyrese and his group back to Woodbury. That’s four people Rick basically sent straight to the Governor. Hopefully they’ll prove smarter than Andrea and will turn right around once they get a load of Crazypants McOneEye in charge.

Andrea is shocked by the state of the group. What did she think they were doing all winter while she was with Michonne? Having a picnic?

She tries peace brokering but Merle calls BS on her.

Glenn: “We’ve taken too much sh*t for too long.” They’ve been fighting for like, a week! This works better when it’s just straight retaliatory actions. Don’t try and fill in history that just isn’t there.

Rick is having none of this “sit down and talk it out” stuff Andrea is selling. Of course, she is the only person in the world that thinks there can be peace between the prison and Woodbury. Rick might be a little crazy now, but he sees the Governor clearly. Maybe because he used to deal with punks and thugs as a cop, but he’s got the Governor sussed out.

Michonne calls Andrea out, too. Andrea is literally the only person behind the curve on the Governor. She wants this “life” so badly she’s willfully blinding herself to the reality of the situation.

Oh great. Tyrese’s group is accidentally selling out Rick & Co. And they’re going to give up the layout and, undoubtedly, how they got inside in the first place. Unless they see the Governor for who he is in time, Rick is F*CKED.

Carol wants Andrea to pull a classic Black Widow and sleep with the Governor then kill him. I bet you anything she won’t. She’s too hell bent on her fairyland of peace and home and a real life.

It’s the zombie apocalypse, Andrea. Everything is nightmares and hell. Wake up.

I swear if the Governor does something creepy right now it’s going to ruin Chopin’s “Raindrop Prelude” for me forever.

A Governor/Andrea sex scene would qualify as “something creepy”.

Oh thank God they cut away before that got horrible.

Luna Lovegood has a pretty decent singing voice.

Rick seems to be getting back to an even keel, giving orders, delegating. Daryl is responsible for keeping Merle in line and Rick is going to find out how trustworthy Michonne really is by going on a run with her.


Of course she doesn’t do it. I knew it. She’s too stupid to live.

Status check:
Rick – Less crazy, still pretty f*cked.
Andrea – A complete dumbass.
The Governor – Lucky Andrea is a complete dumbass.
Tyrese – In Woodbury, f*cking over Rick & Co.
Michonne – Says the least, seems to understand the most.

Worst thing seen/heard this episode: The zombie curb stomp.
Zombie kill of the week: Andrea to the head with a hatchet, on repeat.