A friend of mine who is also an entertainment reporter emailed me yesterday. “Am I a dick? This is so anti-climactic.” She left him and divorced him, all of it signed, in 10 short days. I feel like that might be a record. Can we at least have a chance to process it all?

TMZ is reporting that it was Suri who expedited the situation. Apparently once Tom and Katie realised the impact an ugly divorce would have on their daughter, and how she might never recover from it, they cleared the way for their lawyers to work on a compromise. The way they’re spinning it right now, it was Tom who left a lot on the table for Suri’s sake. Like he’s some kind of class act.

He did leave a lot on the table. It was not for Suri’s sake. It was for self-preservation. It was for his career. It was to take care of his own sh-t first. Tom wanted to fight. But Katie so weakened his position, he’ll have to wait until his battlements are re-secured. And that doesn’t necessarily have to do with the fact that he’s a Scientologist, either.

It’s only been 10 days. I mean, she covertly began a new life without him, dropped a divorce on his ass, and took their kid away. I’m just saying there might be some anger there, even for a normal person. And when that anger is compounded by Xenu’s freak... well...you already know.

So what did Tom give up?

Katie has primary custody of Suri. They keep saying that Katie has agreed to “generous” visitation rights for Tom and while TMZ has disputed reporting from Radar about whether or not Katie has insisted that Suri be accompanied by bodyguards and nannies whenever she visits her father, word is there is a nanny clause involved. The problem with Radar is that they often bury their legitimate reporting under five layers bullsh-t, thereby obscuring on their own legitimacy. My sources tell me that Katie wants one consistent nanny, in her employ, to travel with Suri between both households, not necessary to spy and safeguard (although that doesn’t hurt) but so that the child has some consistency in her life. The nanny acts as an anchor. Originally it was supposedly proposed that the nanny come from Tom’s family or network. Katie vehemently opposed that arrangement. Bodyguards etc were not part of the dispute.

Ex-Scientology members insist however that even though Suri will be in Katie’s care most of the time, Tom’s “generous” access to his daughter means he’ll still be able to mind-trick her into hating her mother and loving the Church. True. But curiously, what scared Tom most last week was the realisation that Katie could do the exact same to him. And I’m told that that was actually intimated.

After all, she kept an apartment without him knowing. She changed her cell phones and her staff behind his back. She re-engaged her old publicists and played the media against him before his eyes were even open. Who’s to say she doesn’t tell Suri that Daddy is scary and Daddy’s friend David Miscavige is a monster who steals princesses? Right now, she’s holding that over him as much as he’s holding it over her.

And again, right now Suri is not the focus. Right now, protecting Tom Cruise Inc is the focus. Tom went back to work yesterday and the paps were able to shoot grainy pictures of him moving around on set. Now it’s all about how a heartbroken Tom copes without his wife and his baby girl. Women, we are suckers for that narrative. It won’t take long. Behind closed doors though, and here’s what’s interesting, they’re saying Tom, the mighty Tom, is scheduled for re-examination. Because what just went down was a f-ck up. And someone has to answer for it. I guess it’s not just John Travolta who needs some serious time in the auditing room.

More on Tom and Katie’s divorce later.