You want it?
Well apparently you can have it. If you promise to work very hard. And if you can somehow get signed up at the Tracy Anderson Method location opening in New York City. And of course if Tracy “designs” your body for you.
Seriously…this is the sh-t I live for.
So my Gwyneth and Madonna – you know they work out with this woman Tracy Anderson who has supposedly reinvented fitness and Tracy is apparently so impressive Madonna cannot be without her and Gwynnie can’t be without so they have to share her by travel. Whoever’s on the road gets priority, and whoever’s not on the road gets her through video chat.
Oh the everyday obstacles of being Gwyneth and Madonna, right?
Anyway, Tracy is now taking the success she’s had with her two most famous clients and promising it to lowly civilians like us.
Gwyneth calls Tracy an “artist”. Like a body “artist”. And Tracy herself says that her fitness programmes are specifically tailored and “designed by collection.”
No. I’m not f-cking around. That is the terminology. That is the vocabulary.
Gwyneth has her own “collection” of exercises, and Madonna has a “collection” of exercises, like a fashion line, and each move in the workout is like a “piece” on a runway.
It’s actually brilliant marketing. You know they will eat this up. You know New York will eat this up.
Because everyone wants to be thin. And cool.
Tracy is very, very, VERY confident about her approach. So confident I almost believe her:
“I don’t mean to be arrogant, but I can’t stress enough how I’ve never failed with anyone. I’ve never not gotten anyone their results. I’ve taken hundreds of pounds off people. I’ve gotten everybody the butt they said they could never have or the lines they said they could never have.”
As for Gwyneth – here are my favourite parts of her interview.
When asked about her fondest memories of New York:
Underage smoking on stoops of brownstones, going to museums, the seasons, and how great a school Spence was—how well they prepared me for life.
For life? Really? That’s all it takes? Private school?
Never mind. Private school does prepare you for life. If you can survive private school bitches, you can survive anything.
And finally, Gwyneth talks about life at her summer house in Amagansett:
I work really hard there—it’s like running an inn, in a way. We have a lot of guests, which is fantastic, but sometimes I feel so tired. At the end of the summer I got pneumonia. I think I just overextended myself.
Stupid me. I thought by very definition that owning a “summer house” negates the very necessity of WORKING HARD. After all, she did build her own gym next to her apple orchard. Hard for Gwyneth then must have been having to accommodate some rich friend AND her low classy mother in law for a weekend in August.
Read Gwynnie’s full article in Gotham and – even better – Tracy’s interview too… click here.
Getting Gwyneth’s body
You want it?