It’s been weeks – maybe even months?! – since we’ve heard from TMZ, the Thomas Markle Zone. I’m actually kinda surprised. While Thomas Markle is, I dunno, trying to control his impulses, I guess, his other daughter rolled up to Kensington Palace the other day and was turned away…although she’s calling it something else. So, basically, dressing up a sh-t. (Dlisted) 

It really DID feel like a Macaulaissance last night. And I quite enjoyed his exchange with Post Malone as they were walking off-stage. Do you think Post Malone has seen Home Alone? I just wanted to say that like the Fug Girls, I too have no idea what The Chainsmokers look like. But it’s something I use as an insult when I’m describing a particular type of douchebag. “He looks like he could be one of the guys in The Chainsmokers”. Instant recognition. (Go Fug Yourself) 

Ben Affleck wants everyone to know that he is no longer dating Shauna Sexton even though they were just fishing together or something outdoors a few days ago – and we found out about that because she posted it on Instagram. Lindsay Shookus had to EARN her Ben IG posts. Shauna thought she could expedite the process. Nope. Which… I mean… dude, what did you think when you started dating a millennial? (Cele|bitchy) 

Katy Perry is not coming out with a new album any time soon …which could mean she’ll surprise drop one next week. Hopefully though, it actually means she’ll take her time and then come back with something stronger than Witness. This “break” though totally means that next week, one of the tabloids is going to report that she and Orlando Bloom are getting married because she’s already pregnant. (OMG Blog) 

Do you buy lipsticks but never wear them? I used to. I would stand at the counter paying for them, knowing it wasn’t for me, but I’d do it anyway, wear it once, look terrible, and never throw them out, because maybe tomorrow I’d wake up with a new skin tone. Over the last decade or so though, I know what to avoid. I can’t do anything with an orange base. My red lipsticks are all blue-toned. Also I can’t do a true “nude”. Or “cold” nude. My nudes have to be warm. Like salmon-ish. But not quite. Took me forever to find my perfect nude: MAC’s Lady Be Good. I hope they never discontinue it, I don’t know what I would do. (The Cut) 

Pulp Fiction…and its knockoffs. Apparently Bad Times at the El Royale is one of them? (Vulture)