The Meg is a super stupid shark movie that shot itself in the foot by going for a watered down PG-13 rating instead of going hard R and giving us the great cinematic spectacle of a giant water monster eating a lot of dumb people. It’s mostly just good for Jason Statham playing a Big Damn Hero, which he excels at, and a round of Bad Movie Bingo. Does that mean I will not see the sequel, Meg 2: The Trench? No, of course not. I will be at Meg 2: The Trench opening day, popcorn in one hand, Bad Movie Bingo card in the other.


Just look at the trailer! It has Jason Statham surfing a wave on a jet ski while stabbing a megalodon with a harpoon—as if that toothpick will do anything to a MEGALODON?!—while Heart’s “Barracuda” plays on the soundtrack. As far as I am concerned, this is the perfect summer movie. It’s stupid, it’s sharks, it’s The Stath, we’re hopefully in for a real dumb but fun time. Bonus points if this one is actually rated R. Please, PLEASE let it be rated R this time.

Also, Meg 2 is, improbably, directed by Ben Wheatley. Why does that name sound familiar, you might ask? Well, he’s the filmmaker behind such weird English cinema as Kill List, Sightseers, A Field in England, and High Rise (and also the dead boring Netflix Rebecca remake). He also directed the absolutely amazing 2017 film Free Fire, which is all go-go-go action and might be a tip for what he can do with a big dumb summer blockbuster. 


I am SUPER interested to see what Ben Wheatley makes of a $100M+ budget, Jason Statham, and a giant shark. I wish this movie was actually titled Ben Wheatley’s Meg 2 Starring Jason Statham because I feel like that is all the information we need for this movie. We don’t actually need a synopsis or a trailer or anything. We just need the oddball appeal of Wheatley, the Big Damn Hero’ing of The Stath, and a big ass shark. We’re all set for some fun in the cinematic summer sun.