I have so many questions. The first one is why was Benedict Cumberbatch hosting the Laureus World Sports Awards in Monte-Carlo yesterday? Apparently, this is his third year in a row. OK. Why though? My second and most important question is WHO decided it was a good idea to do this?

When I watched that video last night, while slightly inebriated, I emailed Lainey and Emily that Cumberbatch’s moves weren’t as bad as I was expecting – especially after they both hyped it up as “scarring” and simply with a “LOLLLLL!!!” (that was Emily). I was expecting Leonardo DiCaprio level bad dancing. I was expecting to have to watch the clip through my hands while cringing like I do anytime Tom Cruise dances in public. In comparison, I was convinced that Benedict Cumberbatch is actually a half decent dancer. 

This morning, after my wine goggles cleared, I laughed so hard re-watching the above clip because yes, it is bad. It’s embarrassing. I do, however, stand by my initial thought that Cumberbatch’s dancing isn’t THAT bad. At least he hit that dab choreography. Can we all agree that the dab is officially dead now though? 
Cumberbatch’s backup dancers are Les Twins aka Laurent and Larry Bourgeois, who owe their fame to Beyoncé and winning World of Dance last season. They are pros. If you can’t look good dancing beside them, you can’t look good dancing. To go back to my very important question, I think Benedict Cumberbatch wanted to do this. I think it was his idea. Like Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch is never one to turn down the chance to be faux charming. The Cumberbitches (don’t @ me, they named themselves) are probably swooning all over this clip. If you Google “Benedict Cumberbatch dancing,” there are full fan-made videos devoted to Cumberbatch’s bad dancing. There was the time he was “secretly” recorded dancing to Uptown Funk. And the time he made MJ roll over in his grave while he attempted to dance to ThrillerAnd whatever this was on set of Sherlock. I’m sure there is video of Cumberbatch taking part in one of Taika Waititi’s famous on-set dance breaks while he was shooting Thor: Ragnarok but for the sake of keeping Taika clear of any association to Cumberbatch’s moves, please don’t send it to me. 

As much as I think that Benedict Cumberbatch absolutely should stop dancing at awards shows, and as much as I resent him for making me spend way too much of my day watching videos of him dancing, I’m going to give him the Best Bad Dancing While White award. Every time I bring up someone’s whiteness, one of y’all email me with some bullsh-t. Cumberbatch is using his dancing as a punchline. I think he thinks he’s a good dancer but I also think he knows his dancing will get laughs because he’s a British white guy dancing to Finesse. So, in honour of Cumberbatch’s Bad Dancing While White, here’s a compilation of his runner-ups, or let’s call them the Worst Bad Dancing While White awards. 
Tom Cruise on BET. This video was really before its time. It holds up. 


Tom Brady dancing to Migos. I can’t re-watch this. It’s too painful. Enjoy if you can! 


Leonardo DiCaprio at Coachella. So epically, spectacularly bad.This will never get old. 


Justin Timberlake in Can’t Stop The Feeling. I said what I said.