Last week, Brad Pitt was seen in Venice with his friend, Thomas Houseago, all about that art life. But it also happened to be Shiloh Jolie Pitt’s 13th birthday and we learned later that Angelina took Shiloh and the other kids, along with some friends, to celebrate at an escape room. (I’ve never done an escape room and I never intend to. My friend went to one recently and at one point they threw them all in a van and drove away somewhere WHAT THE F-CK.) I’m going to be an asshole now and quote what I wrote at that time

Yesterday, by the way, was Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s 13th birthday. She probably spent it with her ma, siblings, and friends. Are we going to get some kind of bullsh-t story leaked to Us Weekly or elsewhere about how upset Brad was that Angelina blocked him from seeing his kid? I’m calling it now – Devoted dad Brad’s heartbreak as Angelina bans him from Shiloh’s birthday party!  

Well, I wasn’t entirely right. But there IS a story about Brad in Us Weekly this week – in fact, he’s on the cover. But the angle they’re taking is his “life as a dad”. 

“They do simple things like cook or watch movies,” a source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly of Pitt’s relationship with his kids.

“He encourages them to pursue their hobbies,” the source adds. “They love to hang out and talk. Brad talks to them about whatever is on their minds — he’s a great listener.”

The Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood actor, who attends therapy, is also relieved that coparenting is going well.

“He’s grateful that all the animosity is in the past,” the source shares. “[The kids] come first. That’s what he’s most excited about — being a dad and sharing his life with his children.”

I didn’t nail it to the middle of the target, but still, it was predictable, non? Brad was out of the country on Shiloh’s birthday but, you guys, the magazine wants us to know that Brad’s priority will always be parenting, OK? And that the parent who is the real piece of sh-t is Angelina, not him. Because he’s the best dad ever! 

Message received. Father’s Day is next weekend. OMG, everybody, I hope we get an update about how Brad spent it.