As Lainey pointed out yesterday, Tom Hiddleston is kind of sad. On Twitter, “Tom Hiddleston Bolognese” has become a thing, thanks to the writer of the story (Taffy Brodesser-Akner) posting the recipe. And he hasn’t been retweeting or liking any of the photos people are putting up. Even though we know he’s very enthusiastic about his Bolognese.

 

Thank you @gq for having me on the cover. A huge honour. Sincere thanks to @jimmooregq & @juicylucyy Photos by @nathanielgoldberg

A post shared by Tom Hiddleston (@twhiddleston) onFeb 14, 2017 at 5:23pm PST

What base do you think Mariah’s “boyfriend” Bryan gets to? For the extra special holiday, maybe he begged and pleaded (and complimented) enough to earn a boob. Just one. While Fantasy played on loop.

 

Happy Valentine's Day!! 😘 #happyvalentinesday #happy #moments #bubbles 💖🥂🍾🥂🍾💖

A post shared by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) onFeb 14, 2017 at 10:16pm PST

I wrote some goop erotica based on Gwyneth and Brad’s Valentine’s Day night: oysters and caviar for dinner (real original). Afterwards they split a square of dark chocolate and she put on a $1500 La Perla lingerie set. They had 8 minutes of sex in the missionary position on Frette sheets. Maybe they watched an episode of The Crown afterwards.

 

Happy Valentine's Day. ❤❤❤

A post shared by @bradfalchuk onFeb 14, 2017 at 8:49pm PST

Would you expect anything but head-to-toe pink on Jessica Simpson for Valentine’s Day? She’s not exactly subtle.

 

Fifty Shades of Pink #ValentinesDay

A post shared by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) onFeb 14, 2017 at 5:33pm PST

Did Drake send JLo flowers? Not sure, but I would bet serious money that Marc Anthony did.

 

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo) onFeb 14, 2017 at 8:00pm PST

At a time when many people feel their country is facing a crisis, Stephen Colbert’s ratings go up and Jimmy Fallon’s go down.

"Who ordered the shrimp, and who launched the ballistic missile?" pic.twitter.com/i0OymVsoYC— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 14, 2017

Camila Cabello has a new Seventeen cover and of course she talks about leaving Fifth Harmony. Her former bandmate Lauren sub-tweeted about it. And then denied tweeting about it. Why can’t these young women just own their pettiness?

 

THANK UUUU @seventeen for having me!!! lots of love link to the article on my twitter #CamilaSeventeenCover

A post shared by Camila Cabello (@camila_cabello) onFeb 13, 2017 at 1:55pm PST

Fake that confidence bih, one day it'll be real🙏🏼— Lauren Jauregui (@LaurenJauregui) February 14, 2017

Media assuming shit and falsely reporting hatred is so boring. REPORT the positive shit..there's too much negativity in this world rn— Lauren Jauregui (@LaurenJauregui) February 15, 2017

Who is he referring to? Lots of guesses point to Britney. I kind of hope it’s Katy so we get some good gossip out of it.

I worked with the greatest artists of our generation !!! I'm in the mixing stage now. I listen back and can't believe what we created !!!!!— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) February 15, 2017

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