Dear Gossips,

CELINE!

If you visit this site regularly, you know that for months I’ve been trying to get to Vegas to see Celine Dion before she ends her residency. I’ve never been to a Celine Dion show. Yesterday she announced that she’s touring North America for the first time in over a decade!

What a time to be Celine. She’s coming out with a new album. She just signed the first beauty deal of her career. She’s the star of Paris Fashion Week. She’s more universally beloved than she’s ever been. And now she’s hitting the road to return the love, she’s taking her feelings, ALL THE FEELINGS THAT HAVE EVER EXISTED, on tour across Canada and the US, starting at home, in Quebec. 

The Toronto show, where Duana and I are hoping to see her, is on December 9. As Duana said yesterday when we made our Celine pact, “I can’t think of a better Christmas celebration!”

So what’s the pact? The pact is this: only go with true believers. Don’t go with anyone who doesn’t get her. Because when you’re there, you must surrender to the Celine, you must fully release yourself to the cheese. You’re singing, your arms are open for no reason, from there your fist starts pounding at your heart. You are breathless, you are full of breath. You are humping the air…

 

You are doing whatever the f-ck this is…

 

Maybe you’re crying, maybe you’re crying and laughing at the same time. You are not embarrassed. And that’s the key where the Celine experience is concerned: earnestness always over embarrassment. If you know someone who embarrasses easily, this is not for them. (That’s why I’m not even mentioning this to Sasha.) May those of us who are worthy have all the ticket luck we need. 

Yours in gossip,

Lainey