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How surprised were you? Usually impeccable, always a winner, Charlize showed up without Stuart and clearly missing her mojo. I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong this thing is. And the attack of the bow is the least of our concerns. Her dress was sinister, it was dark, it was made worse by her makeup and the miscalculated hair and I don’t understand why someone with such small bubbies would accentuate that fact by wrapping up her bosom leaving nothing but a flat board underneath all that heavy fabric. She’s not my favourite but even I can take no pleasure from Charlize’s failure tonight. Because on a night when we were seriously lacking in wow, she might have been the one who let us down the most.

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