Didn’t we all agree 2019 was going to be better? Didn’t we all think we were better than this? 

Early in the night, Twitter blew up because, in the words of social media, “Chrissy Metz called Alison Brie a bitch, you guys!!” on a Facebook Live Globes preshow hosted by Missi Pyle and AJ Gibson.  

In the grand tradition of awkward endings to live red carpet interviews, they ask if she knows Alison Brie (because the director is barking into their ears to throw to Brie, in all likelihood); she says she does, and then as they cut to her, you hear Metz say something that people thought was ‘she’s such a bitch’. Live. On air.

This is the clip in question. Watch it carefully, and then let’s discuss.  

Point the First: Chrissy Metz has the mic two inches from her mouth, as she should on the carpet. She works on a TV show all day every day where she’s live-miced. On TV sets, actors have to get special permission to go to the bathroom while shooting, because one of the first things you learn is to turn off your mic, or your walkie, so the whole studio doesn’t hear you pee… or worse. Which has happened… 

She’s a professional actor, and thus, she would NEVER. Even if she thought her mic was away from her mouth, Pyle’s and Gibson’s would have still been live. It’s wayyyy too risky. 

Point the Second: Chrissy Metz can’t see what the control room is choosing to show us. She doesn’t know if she’s off-camera or not, so why would she take the risk? As far as she knows, the interview is the interview until she’s back off the carpet talking to her publicist. SHE WOULD NEVER.

Point The Third: If Metz was trying to make a joke, like if they were actually super-close friends, she would really LAND on the word ‘bitch’, not half-mutter what was probably ‘she’s such a babe’. Think if this was Maya Rudolph or someone. They’d make sure you heard the ‘bad word’. 

Point the Fourth:  What would be the goal here? Chrissy Metz is on the biggest show on network TV right now – and it didn’t come easy. And perception and Q factor/likeability is 100% of how you get hired. And Alison Brie is beloved by juuuust about everyone. What would possibly be the benefit of slagging her off live, to 100-odd countries? You really think she’s that unable to hold back her emotions? 

The unfortunate answer is, yes, people were all too ready to believe this is something Chrissy Metz would do for absolutely no apparent reason – Twitter ran WILD.  But, credit where it’s due – when some schoolyard-wannabe/reporter breathlessly ran up to Brie and tattled that Metz had “said” this, Brie “seemed very confused by the entire matter. ‘But why?’ she asked. ‘I know her. I saw her on the carpet and told her how beautiful she looked.’” Even as she was blindsided by this nonsense story, Alison Brie has the wherewithal to point out that there’s no actual story here. 

But people looooovvve a story about women hating each other secretly, and there will be far fewer stories relaying Metz’s tweet about how of COURSE she didn’t do this, or Brie’s Instagram story, which she posted mid-show:

In short, it probably dampened both their nights. Neat! 

This has been Live TV Forensics – brought to you by misogyny and the continuing belief that actors aren’t real people.