Connor Storrie’s profitable bum
– 3 min read
I don’t f-ck with scary movies or TV shows. Recently had to do a junket for a horror series and 15 minutes into the first episode and I cut out after a disturbing scene. So it’s a testament to how much I like Connor Storrie that I stuck through the entirety of his new commercial film (a commonly used expression in Korea), that was also much too long for my liking, which is shot like a scary movie. And also directed by Nia DaCosta who specialises in the genre. Justice for Hedda, by the way. It was not classified as a horror, technically, but there was a palpable sense of foreboding throughout the film as Hedda’s cunning manipulations and betrayals piled up and twisted into themselves. I loved Hedda and I’m still mad that Tessa Thompson wasn’t more of a factor during award season.
But Nia DaCosta is getting paid by a telecom, with an assist from Connor Storrie’s ass, and that’s why we’re here. Because the film just dropped today and it’s borrowing from horror tropes but also a little Heated Rivalry since… I mean anyone who’s watched HR would connect this cabin to the cottage.
As usual, both Nia and Connor understand the assignment. This is sinister… but also sweaty. His skin is gleaming, but not greasy. He is beautifully lit to capture the sheen on his face and his arms when he takes off his shirt, to reveal a fitted tank, over fitted jeans. And multiple ass shots. Because his ass – spoiler alert – is the villain, the monster, the one who wreaks havoc.
In so many ways. In also the best way. We have seen so much of that havoc-wreaking ass, Shane Hollander could tell you a thing or two about the havoc that ass has wreaked. And clearly that ass continues to be profitable. Write that ass a big ass cheque, it has done the work!
No, but, seriously, it’s good that Connor is making some money. Filming on Heated Rivalry started pretty much exactly a year ago and since the show was made with a Canadian budget, as I have said repeatedly, it’s not like Connor and Hudson Williams were set up for life on what they would have been paid.
And Verizon is already getting their money’s worth because when I first watched the film it had been up for an hour and already had over 300K likes. It’s now, at the time of this writing, almost at 500K – the most action they’ve seen in a LONG time. The ass that wreaks havoc is also an excellent investment.
What else happened today…
Sarah Ferguson hasn’t been seen in a while, ever since Just Andrew was arrested. So people are wondering where she could possibly be, and who’s been sheltering her since she’s a prolific freeloader, just like him. But at this point who would invite her into their home when one of her favourite moves is pawning off everything she has access to? (Pajiba)
Sharon Stone is making the talk show rounds and her outfits range from classic (khakis, a trench, and a crossbody) to quirky (leather jacket, leather skirt, beanie, and bizarre tights). I’m not mad at any of it. This Hot Bitch can make it work. (Go Fug Yourself)
Taylor Swift just released the video for the next single from The Life of a Showgirl, “Elizabeth Taylor”. As Vulture notes, it’s basically a fancam, not unlike a fan-made compilation you’d find on YouTube, except of course the fancams rip the footage without paying and Taylor very much secured the rights to every shot of Elizabeth Taylor that is used. You can see as much in the end credits, along with a thank you title card to Ms Taylor’s estate. My nosy ass wants to know how much this cost. (Vulture)
Dakota Johnson thought she was being polite and instead they thought she was pompous. We scoff at this now, as old people, but I’ve been in situations where I’ve asked a Gen Z or Alpha a simple question like, is this seat taken, and the face they make because someone actually talked to them, it’s like I wanted them to give me their kidney. (Celebitchy)
A personal, poignant, and heartbreaking reminder by Jackie Domenus that reproductive rights are also 2SLGBTQ+ rights. (Autostraddle)
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