The poisoned children of Game Of Thrones

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 31, 2017 14:53:29 July 31, 2017 14:53:29

Daenerys Targaryen had three major allies to begin the season. All three have now been picked off. But oh look, Samwell Tarly has fixed Jorah Mormont and just in time. So guess who’s riding up to Dragonstone to be a hero? F-cking Jorah Mormont, I hate him so much, and while I don’t hate Sam, not at all, I wish he’d make better choices, God.

You know what Jorah’s going to do though when he gets to Dragonstone? After drinking in an eyeful of the Khaleesi? He’s going to take his dick out and start swinging it at Jon Snow. How about all that foreplay over who has the most titles between Jon and Daenerys last night? Jorah would not have enjoyed that conversation because he’s a jealous perv and wants to be the only man she ever speaks to ever. And even though we all know he has nothing to be jealous of (or maybe he does, the way sh-t works on this show), he doesn’t know that yet. I only enjoy watching Jorah when he has to deal with the fact that Daenerys is f-cking other people. My dream scene would be that he dies while watching her f-cking someone else. Why can’t my dream come true?

You know who dreams a lot but seems to be missing a sensitivity chip? F-cking Bran Stark. Thanks for coming back to Winterfell, Bran, and promptly triggering your sister’s rape memories. Sarah interpreted that whole Bran situation to mean that the more he’s becoming the Three-eyed Raven, the more he’s losing his human perspective. Which is fine. But why is it that he had to evoke that particular vision. You can see all the visions! You couldn’t pick another goddamn vision? Asshole.

Theon Greyjoy is a weak asshole. You know who else is a weak asshole? Jaime Lannister. Theon and Jaime are the same. Jaime might actually be worse. Because while Theon just isn’t built for this game, Jaime was born and built to play this game. And he actively chooses to play it like a piece of sh-t. Which is why even when he gets revenge, he comes out the loser. Even when he tries to take out an enemy, the unconquerable Olenna Tyrell, he’s the one who ends up getting taken out. The poison that took Olenna was but a moment. The poison that’s slowly taking Jaime has been his entire life. It’s the poison that the parents on Game Of Thrones leave for their children.

Cersei’s actions poisoned her children, all of her children. Ellaria Sand’s poisonous past resulted in a poisoned present, as she will spend the final hours of her life watching her child die the way she killed another child. Tyrion Lannister, abused by his father and his siblings, built the sewers below his home and used those very sewers to bring it down. And though his strategy may not have yielded the victory he had hoped for, one of the recurring themes of Game Of Thrones has always been to explore how children become their parents’ most tragic victims.

So now we are left with fire and ice, as Daenerys continues to reckon with the legacy of poison unleashed by her father, the Mad King, and prove that she’s a different kind of leader, and Jon Snow, a boy raised by secrets with no legitimate claims, who must now, literally, be the kind of leader who can save the world.

PS. I’m really feeling this Lean In CEO-off between Cersei and Sansa. 

PPS. Bonkers comment of the week from Duana: “But didn’t Melisandre look like Catelyn Stark? On purpose?"

PPPS. Is Samwell Tarly the Princess Diana of Westeros?

We only have four episodes left to last us an entire year.


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