It’s usually Duana who’s good for one bonkers observation/prediction every week during Game Of Thrones. This time it’s my turn.

Is it just me or have you noticed that Daenerys Targaryen is wearing a lot more makeup this season? She’s back in Westeros, of course, and not taking 5 years to walk across the desert, with no beauty products in her backpack, I get it. But even when she was hanging out in Mereen, where the accommodations were pretty comfortable, Daenerys wasn’t wearing a full face. Last night, that close-up shot of her saying goodbye to Jon? There was a LOT of makeup happening. That’s the superficial sign that Daenerys is breaking bad. Of course there are several other, less shallow, signs as well.

Tyrion and Varys are wringing their hands over her bloodthirst. Every day, more and more, is she becoming like Cersei? Like all the rulers before them? I mentioned this in my recap last week – Daenerys and Cersei have never had the benefit of female mentorship or significant counsel. As female rulers they’re wary of not being taken seriously by men, a valid concern. But the only way they know how to assert power when they’ve been challenged is by ruthless retribution – not exactly a radical approach. As history has shown us in the present, the primary motivation of those in power is to protect it. Every move becomes about how to preserve power, as opposed to how to share it in service of others.

How then will Daenerys react when she finds out that she and Jon Snow share a bloodline – and that his claim to the throne might be more legitimate than hers? Gilly’s nighttime reading has revealed to us that Jon Snow isn’t actually a bastard. And given that his father, Rhaegar, was the older brother of Daenerys, it makes Jon the true first heir of House Targaryen. Which is probably why Drogon, instead of eating him, decided to (in dragon terms) bend the knee, without having to be asked.

Daenerys’s favourite word these days seems to be “MINE!” What will happen when she finds out that it was never hers to begin with? Sarah texted me last night to say that this is what Game Of Thrones has been building towards: that Jon Snow has both the ancestry and the temperament to lead, to be the king the unites everyone, the prince who was promised. Jon shared power with Sansa five minutes after his bannermen named him King of the North. He does not seek the crown for power’s sake. Now he’s going back out beyond the wall to play capture the flag with the white walkers (this is the dumbest plot ever), potentially sacrificing his own life yet again for the greater good. Let’s send him on another adventure, because what would a season of Game Of Thrones be without a Jon Snow adventure and battle?

Great. Fine. We get it. He’s the Dawson. He’s the only one who has his eye on the real threat, f-ck your politics, the zombies will destroy us all!

Am I the only one who doesn’t give a sh-t about the zombies? This is where they’ve been taking us for 7 seasons. The human war over King’s Landing and the greater war with the immortals over existence, period. And, presumably, it’s the war with the immortals that will be the ultimate conclusion to the show. Wouldn’t it be way more fun though to finish off the zombies first and then get back to the politics? After all, what’s truly immortal is human nature. Greed, rivalry, revenge, and family drama, these have always been the pillars of the show. And, frankly, the Night King’s plots are so much less interesting than Littlefinger’s schemes.

Trust, mistrust, and distrust are Baelish’s sharpest weapons. And now the R Kelly of Westeros is trying to play Sansa and Arya Stark off of each other, the way he used to play their mother. We are supposed to believe that Baelish got the jump on Arya last night, planting a letter for her to find that will fuel the doubt she has in her sister’s intentions, engaging A Girl in a game of I Know You Know That I Know That You Know That I Know. That’s what he thinks. That he’s playing A Girl. But A Girl is No One. Arya is going to f-ck him up so hard, I can’t wait. And if it were up to me, it will be Arya who ends up the Hand of the eventual Queen, Sansa. If, that is, Sansa isn’t her stupid mother’s daughter. F-cking Catelyn, I still hate her so much.

PS. Speaking of hating, goddamn pervy Jorah and his boner over Daenerys and those jealous eyes he keeps making at Jon Snow, how is it that he had the greyscale peeled off of him and he only looks like he got a sunburn?

PPS. That double date between Daenerys and Jon and Samwell and Gilly just got hella more awkward. I mean Daenerys and Jon are already related. And Daenerys just dragon-burned Sam’s father and brother. Or maybe Sam won’t mind it so much?

PPPS. Why is Lannister incest so fertile on this show?