There are three headlines about Gwyneth Paltrow making the rounds today. Two of them are connected so we’ll deal with them in a minute. Let’s start with what she said about marriage to Brad Falchuk. In an interview with The Sunday Times Style magazine via the Daily Mail, G says she and Brad are only together four nights of the week, and the other three nights he goes back to his place. Is that weird? According to G, “Oh, all my married friends think that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn't change a thing”. 

It’s not weird when you consider that they have a blended family, that they were both previously married, with children from those marriages, and a lot of people in similar situations are setting up their homes this way. It’s more stable for the children. The kids don’t move from one house to another according to custody arrangements; rather, the parents are the ones who are mobile. I don’t know for sure that that’s why G and Brad have worked it out this way (she says her “intimacy teacher” recommended it as a way to keep the relationship fresh) but this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of this kind of situation – and of course it only works when there are the resources to support it. Because with this setup, everyone has to support multiple residences. And, of course, that’s not realistic for many people. 

G also talked about fame, her celebrity, and how she’s grown, or how she thinks she’s grown after 25 years in the business: 

“Look, I'm famous, I get famous-person treatment. You don't want to be an asshole, but slowly if people start removing obstacles for you, if you live in a world where you never have to sit in line, where people don't confront you, where they don't tell you the truth, that's what you become. That's what I became after Shakespeare In Love and was, for the moment, the number one female movie star in the world.”

(using my highest pitch voice here) Was she really the “number one female movie star in the world”? Have you heard of a minor star by the name of Julia Roberts? Anyway…G continues: 

“Luckily, my dad burst my bubble for me in a way that it could never be reconstructed,' she said. 'I guess the only regret is that I had to turn 40 to start getting my head out of my ass. What if I'd been 30? 20? Still, I can only imagine in my 50s how much better it is all going to get. I see so many famous people who are exempt from life, who've set up this construct where they don't really have to risk anything. Usually, because of their ingrained fear of intimacy -- and I don't want to be like that. I want to be in the rough and tumble of life, I don't want to be exempt.”

Gwyneth Paltrow is trying to tell us that she’s not “exempt” from life and doesn’t want to be. That she doesn’t want to live in a “construct”. I mean, you don’t need me to put the “AS IFFFFF” in here for you because you’ve already AS IFFFFFed her all the back to Shakespearean times.

So now, if you haven’t already, please enjoy this clip that’s making the rounds from G’s appearance on Jon Favreau’s The Chef Show on Netflix:  

How much more “exempt” can you get when you don’t know YOU WERE IN A MOVIE?!

And a Marvel movie! These are not small movies! 

Only Gwyneth Paltrow, you know? Only f-cking Gwyneth Paltrow would be totally unaware, so unaware that she keeps debating it, that she was in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Millions of fans, all around the world, hanging on every Marvel update, fighting among themselves to read into clues and script leaks, wondering what’s up with Tony and Pepper (Pepperony!), and she’s out here all…

I was in that? Really? That was what it was for? 


Sure. Sure, G. Sure. 

Attached - Gwyneth hosting a goop event in LA last week.