Dear Gossips, 

“It’s an abundance!” is one of the first things Gwyneth Paltrow says in her 73 Questions feature with Vogue, which takes place at her Amagansett estate. When hasn’t it ever been an abundance where GP is concerned. And this property is a f-cking ABUNDANCE. 


We start in her garden, the first garden. And we end up in another garden, where apple trees are in abundance. And in between we pass by the veranda and the pool and the sauna and the cold plunge and at one point I stupidly thought that she was taking Vogue off the property onto the street, and it looked like there were other homes close by but LOLOLOL that was just a small road that was part of her land… so much land… 

So when she casually points out that her Oscar is being used as a doorstop to keep the gate open to go from one end of the abundance of land to the other, well, of course. Because when you already have so much, you can use the Oscar to hold up the door. And you don’t have to put much effort into your answers. Seriously, some of G’s responses are typical G halfassness. This part of her whole brand, like when she couldn’t remember what Marvel movies she’s been in. It was a blip in her important, special, privileged life. Like the Oscar, LOL. Although it curiously keeps coming up in her recent interviews to promote the 15th anniversary of Goop


But now I need to be petty. Because her whole sh-t is to know the best products and she’s on this quest for longevity and it’s all about what’s best for your body and this and that and the other… and if that’s the case, why is her hair so fried?! Goop has a line of hair products. And, I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear this, they are not cheap. Is she using them? Do they work? Because on it her it doesn’t f-cking look like it. 


Yours in gossip,