If you’ve been reading this site a few years, you know Bump Watch isn’t all that interesting to me. With one exception: Beyoncé. That said, I feel like Halle Berry showed up at the Chrysalis Butterfly Ball this weekend and pretty much asked us to look at her bump? At least that’s the way she’s posing. Because if she wasn’t posing like this I would not have noticed. Especially not when you see her from other angles and not drawing attention to it. Like this:

And up on stage like this:

Exactly a month ago, Halle attended VH1’s Dear Mama event. Here’s her outfit:

What if, to make me feel less gross, what Halle’s actually expecting is a big bowl of pasta? What if, instead of baby-bumping on a red carpet, what she’s actually doing is food-bumping, proudly? Hi everyone. I’m in a tight dress. AND I just ate a huge portion of pasta. And I decided not to f-ck with support undergarments tonight. And I’m showing you what it looks like when you don’t f-ck with support undergarments and you annihilate a massive serving of noodles, proudly. So instead of wondering about the baby father, we’d be wondering instead about what kind of pasta. Bolognese? Carbonare? Canneloni? Gnocchi? OMG can I tell you what my favourite pasta recipe is right now? I found it on Damn Delicious (I love her website) – One Pot Lemon Orzo Shrimp, SO good. I triple the recipe for lunch leftovers with some additions: broccoli and chopped aspargus and also, because I like my food spicey, a tablespoon of red pepper flakes. The pepper flakes got too hot for Jacek though so last time I made it I added a tablespoon of Terroni’s Peperoncini Piccanti to my own bowl instead. It will change your life, I am addicted to that sh-t. It’s now my salad dressing substitute.

Speaking of gnocchi, Jacek is now addicted to it because of this recipe that Camille Moore showed us on The Social: Gorgonzola Gnocchi Gratin. I made it for my parents a few weeks ago and when they asked to take some home he basically growled at them. Food that makes you rude is the best food, non?