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A total has-been, I know, and yet in honour of Karl Lagerfeld, I feel we must single out Harry for his impressive starvational abilities. Bitchbeaten by a fan? Not Harry, not if he keeps this up. These sunken cheeks have Chanel written all over them, to say nothing of the orange – a shade of tangerine The Kaiser would approve of with an imperceptible nod and maybe, just maybe, a tweak of his pinky – you know how many people would give their tits for a tweak from that pinky??? Not bad Harry, not bad at all…

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