Dear Gossips,   

I find it really upsetting that Emma Heming Willis, wife of Bruce Willis, has to be constantly defending the decisions that she’s made about how to care for Bruce, who has progressive frontotemporal dementia, while raising their children. Emma is currently promoting her book The Unexpected Journey: Finding Strength, Hope, and Yourself on the Caregiving Path and revealed a couple of weeks ago that Bruce now lives in his own home with 24-hour care and that she and their daughters are there every day. This has made such a difference in everyone’s life because it’s a much calmer environment for Bruce, and for the kids, they can spend time in their own space, and be as noisy as they want to be as adolescents. 

 

The Willis family has the resources to manage these arrangements, and they are ideal arrangements for them, full stop. It only matters that this is what’s working for Bruce, his wife, and their daughters. So when she says it’s not up for debate, it’s not up for f-cking debate. 

 

Of course not everyone in a similar situation can afford to do this but this is why, for years now, Emma has been an advocate for caregivers and their experiences. This is the reason she’s revealing so much about her decisions and her life, and opening herself up to criticism. Because caregivers all over the world are often overlooked and underappreciated. I myself am a caregiver, along with my father and my husband. All of our lives have been upended to accommodate my ma’s healthcare needs as she lives with an incurable disease (POEMS) and a disability. 

 

My dad in particular is the one who endures the most – as his entire existence, every choice he makes, what he does every day, his schedule for the last 20 years, is built around her needs. And even though he doesn’t complain, even though he is willing, he suffers silently. Generationally and culturally he is expected to be patient, to sacrifice, to bear it, but he needs support too. I stress, every day, over how to support him, because my husband and I have our own concerns, a business to run, a home to manage, animals to raise. And we don’t have kids ourselves so in that respect we are probably less anxious than those who are worrying about their aging parents while parenting themselves. 

So many people I know, so many of you out there, are in this position. And more and more of us are encountering the reality that our social infrastructure, especially in the west, is ill-equipped to support the growing generation that is juggling all these responsibilities. Workplace standards do not account for caregiving concerns, working conditions and working hours do not accommodate for children and aging parents, healthcare professionals are being undermined, healthcare systems are inadequately funded. That’s already a cocktail of f-ckassness that is overwhelming. And when you layer of judgment on top of it, the kind of judgment that’s been coming at Emma Heming Willis, it all feels impossible, it’s no wonder caregivers are depressed and desperate and exhausted and isolated. 

 

I’m happy for Emma that she’s found a way to make it work for her and her family. I’m just as grateful to her that she’s willing to be out here trying to get people to talk more about caregiving challenges, even though she has to hear it from the assholes who think caregiving is a one-size-fits-all. Let’s focus on her message instead of her haters. 

Yours in gossip, 

Lainey 

 

Bruce Willis and Emma Heming Willis were seen in New York, with Emma Heming Willis appearing on CBS Mornings on September 10, 2025.
Photo credits: Brian To/ WENN.com, Backgrid

Share this post