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Dear Gossips,

That foul stench you woke up to this morning comes from Ebola Paris Hilton. It’s single now, no longer dating that useless f-ck Doug Reinhardt. Scroll down for the full article on who it’s hunting now. The most hunted boy in the world is in New York. How long before Ebola spreads itself over to New York?

Part of me actually wants to see it, or at least see it try it, because maybe that’s the only way to get rid of it. There is no Ebola Hilton vaccine. But Ebola Hilton has yet to take on the Twi-hard crazy. Could the Twi-hard crazy finally be the antidote we’ve been looking for? Can the Twi-hard crazy eradicate Ebola’s black hole vagina and her disease?

See? Now you wanna know.

It’s Thursday. Didn’t plan it that way but we’re heavy on the man hotness today. Am blogging until my flight. To Toronto for 2 weeks. My mother is making me host (translation: pay for) a Chinese lady dinner on Friday night. She has already planned my outfit. Can’t wait.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

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