Austin Butler: what’s next?

I’m really just here to appreciate how hot Austin Butler is, seen here this week picking up some groceries, presumably after a workout; he was papped a few days prior in the same outfit – a tee with cut-off sleeves and track pants. As they say, that’s it, that’s the tweet…

Although if we have to keep it professional, I do have some work questions. Like, is he training for something in particular or is this self-care? Austin has one project in post-production: Enemies, a crime drama co-starring Jeremy Allen White that wrapped last year and should be released later this year. He also has several projects in pre-production, and is rumoured for at least two others.

Last month it was announced that Austin will be playing Lance Armstrong in a biopic to be directed by Edward Berger. There was a bidding war, eventually Apple Studios secured the deal, and even though there was already a Lance Armstrong film that was released, starring Ben Foster, over a decade ago, there are a few factors that make this one notable: Edward Berger (All Quiet on the Western Front, Conclave) is highly regarded, and also this is the first time Lance has signed off on his life rights…

Which makes me a little nervous but then again, it’s hard to imagine Edward Berger being interested in making a puff piece about an a-hole. Supposedly this is a warts-and-all account of Lance’s life. That said, I’m not sure they’re anywhere near starting on it because Edward is currently shooting Riders with Brad Pitt. After principle photography he’ll be in post on Riders until at least the end of the year. So I don’t think Austin is on a bike until at least 2027.

And then there are two projects that have long been rumoured. Like Luca Guadagnino’s take on Bret Easton Ellis’s American Psycho, which so many people seem to be obsessed with. There have been no casting confirmations but Austin has been at the top of the speculation list to play Patrick Bateman, following in Christian Bale’s footsteps. I get the lure of this role for an actor – but personally, I’d rather see Austin first go back to the 80s in a different movie.

MIAMI VICE!

Joseph Kosinski is rebooting it, they’ve set a release date of August 7, 2027, and he’s already said that Austin and Michael B Jordan are at the top of his wish list to play Crockett and Tubbs. And both were in talks last fall though I haven’t seen any updates since then. There’s still time…but not that much time.

But that combination? MBJ and Austin in pastels and linen, knit sweaters, white pants, no socks, and Ray-Bans? GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW…

F-ck American Psycho, don’t we all want to see Austin Butler with greasy hair and stubble, exchanging quips and squints with MBJ as they roll up on a shady nightclub and saunter in like they’re untouchable? The only answer is YES, everybody just say YES to this movie and let’s get going, ffs, we need this medicine.