Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

Jessica Biel flew to Paris Fashion Week recently specifically to sit front row at Giambattista Valli. Last night she was with the designer at the Fashion Group International Night of Stars event in New York. I mean, yeah she’s worn his clothes a few times but I wouldn’t say it’s Sofia Coppola and Marc Jacobs. When did Biel become Giambattista Valli’s muse? And...well... if she’s his muse, how, errrm, inspiring will his future collections be? Are we sure this is a good fit? Or did Anna Wintour force this through as a favour to Justin Timberlake so he could placate his girlfriend after cheating on her so many times?

Check her out in this piece from Giambattista Valli (don’t you love saying Giambattista?) Spring 2012. The gold leaf belt is beautiful. It’s an exquisite creation. But...I’m not sure it’s doing anything for her. I’m not sure she lives up to the drama. I’m not sure she can hold up the drama. I’m not sure she suits an updo, especially not one that ages her so. Picture it instead on Jennifer Lopez. With her hair scraped back in that tight bun she loves so much. Or even that turban she loves so much. See? Instant drama. THAT’s how you service a dress like this.

Photo credits: Andres Otero/ WENN

Share this post