Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

She can barely hold a scene in a movie, let alone centre stage on The Great White Way? The argument of course would be that if Madonna can do it… 

But Madonna, in spite of the atrocious acting, can COMMAND a stage. Can Jessica Alba command a stage?

Seriously…

But still, she tries. She tries valiantly to rise above TV girl eternity. She tries in vain to be more than just a face and an ass. And now she is trying to be recognised as a stage actress, considering a starring role in the Broadway production next year of Speed-the-Plow, especially since there may be an actor’s strike looming in June 2008 and if that happens, she apparently feels she can cut it on Broadway, telling Regis & Kelly:

"I have been asked. It"s perfect timing because of the strike. There might be an actor's strike in June. So if they don"t resolve, I can do theatre."

I can do theatre. She says it like it’s as simple as changing a recipe. 

Can Jessica Alba do theatre? A girl with a killer body but who can barely hold your attention in a movie…can Jessica Alba do theatre?

Bitch… please!

source

Photos from splash

Share this post