Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

All the signs are there…

Just before John Mayer broke up with Jessica Simpson, she was photographed wearing those infamous high waisted pants, a little bloated from drowning her pre-breakup heartache into much food and booze, incapable of thinking straight, let alone being able to dress herself properly.

I feel another episode coming.

Maybe not the exact same trousers, but something equally as memorable, equally as atrocious, and hopefully equally as hilarious.

As you know, things have been touch and go with Tony Romo. Most believe they won’t make it to the end of the Cowboys’ training camp. Doesn’t look like she’s holding out much hope either.
Check out Jess in Vegas at the grand opening of the Palms the other night.

She looks awful. She looks old. And she knows it too. Because the Jessica Simpson we’ve seen the last few months has been totally the opposite. When things were right in her relationship, Jess was tight. She was light and beautiful with really great hair and so much confidence and now just a shadow of that remains.

Note her body language in this black dress. Not flattering and she can feel it. Even worse, she can’t figure out to how it make it work anyway despite the poor fit. Jess has lost her mojo and she will also lose her Romo…which can only mean one thing:

Another epic fashion disaster is just around the corner.

You can’t wait. Don’t lie.

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com

Share this post