Programming Note: We will be dark on Friday, April 3, in observance of Good Friday. We’ll be back on Monday, April 6, with regularly scheduled gossip.

Joshua Jackson is out and about today, looking like the cool dad at the country club. I don’t know about you, but I am WAY more into Joshua Jackson’s silver fox era than I ever was into Pacey.

It’s been a little quiet on the JJ front, he’s got Katie Holmes’ film, Happy Hours, in the wings, but other than that, we’re still mourning the loss of Doctor Odyssey. I need a bonkers network show in my life, it makes me sad when the networks aren’t doing at least one bananas thing in a televisual season. But yesterday, there was news on the personal life front, as JJ and his ex-wife, Jodie Turner-Smith, with whom he shares a child, are still working on custody, despite finalizing their divorce.

His divorce from Jodie and the ensuing custody battle has left a bit of a sour taste with JJ’s public persona. Their divorce wasn’t headline news like some blockbuster Hollywood couple splits, but enough got out that some of us wondered if Mr. Charming was not so, well, charming. But it sounds like, ultimately, Jodie and JJ walked away with all their own stuff, with neither seeking spousal support. Just a good old-fashioned “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours” agreement.

Now they just have to iron out custody, which is always tricky, especially when both parents have jobs that require travel. Their daughter is small, it’s not inconceivable one of them might have to take her with them on an out of state, even out of country job. This has already been a sticking point in their custody battle.

Anyway, this is far from the worst celebrity breakup we’ve ever seen, but it has made us side-eye Joshua Jackson. If they get their custody issue nailed down without further drama, and then proceed to co-parent peaceably, or at least with the appearance of peace, this will undoubtedly fade into the background. There is no limit on how many chances handsome dudes get with the public. Working the cool dad vibes doesn’t hurt, either. Who would ever believe Cool Dad is the problem?


What else happened today…

Let’s roll into the long weekend with a little snack, Ethan Hawke’s awards season style file. Speaking of men I find hotter with grey hair, Ethan Hawke is another one. He wore a lot of great suits throughout awards season. I’m not sure I’m totally convinced Hawke is genuinely eccentric (he is, however, a confirmed yapper), but he certainly likes a fun suit. (Go Fug Yourself)

There’s a new spoof movie coming out called Stop That Train!, in which RuPaul plays the president of the United States. CRAZIER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED. The film comes from Adam Shankman, director of Hairspray. It’s impossible to tell if Stop That Train! will be funny, spoofs are hard to take out of context, because the humor depends so much on the source material. Like Fackham Hall is only funny if you’re really into Downton Abbey and Agatha Christie country house murder mysteries. Without those touchpoints, it’s just a terrible mess.

This is actually why Airplane! is so incredible. Does anyone even remember the source for the spoof? It’s a 1970 disaster movie called Airport, but Airplane! is so funny, because air travel is such a common experience for anyone who does it, that the jokes work without the original frame of reference. I actually didn’t even see Airport until the 2010s (it is not good), and while it did provide context for many jokes in the film, I didn’t actually need it. Airplane! is funny on its own. I don’t know that Stop That Train! will be funny on its own. RuPaul is funny, though. (Celebitchy)

Richard Kelly directed Donnie Darko, which, while a commercial failure, went on to become a generationally defining cult classic. He then directed a string of flops, movies that failed both commercially and critically. Despite directing a beloved film that launched Jake Gyllenhaal’s career, Richard Kelly’s career never took off. He has had multiple projects fall apart in development, and a run of unbelievable bad luck (one film was cancelled when James Gandolfini died). Here is the sad tale of Richard Kelly, the director that wasn’t. (Pajiba)

Did you hear about the KitKat heist? A truckload of over 410,000 Formula 1 themed KitKats was stolen in Italy last week, and KitKat has—and this is not a joke—launched the “KitKat Tracker” to find their missing KitKats.

Again, this is 100% real, no April Fools, KitKat wants to find their missing KitKats. There’s a simple website that will show you how to find the batch number on a KitKat, you can enter it into the search field, and the site will determine if your KitKat is part of the looted chocolate treats. This is the most fun possible twist to an already fun heist story, but I do wonder if it’s a way of back-tracing who stole the KitKats. Like, find out where the stolen chocolate washed up, then work back to the fence, the thieves, etc. I love that we can now be involved, on an individual level, in a fun heist story, but I am not here to snitch. Let the KitKat thieves be. Who did they hurt? Nestle? Boo f-cking hoo. (Fast Company)

Photo credits: IXOLA/Backgrid

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