Katie Holmes from Bountiful

Bountiful is a small town in British Columbia, Canada. Of polygamists. I mean, it’s FAMOUS for the polygamy. Anyway, Duana made this brilliant observation yesterday about Katie Holmes’s hair:

“I am seriously one to talk, but that long, never-tended hair on both of them feels kind of sister-wife in and of itself.”

It’s true, right? Mother Katie and Little Suri wear their hair often, especially since the divorce, like it’s the the frontier days. Or, as Duana noted, there’s “an escaped-from-Bountiful vibe” that’s happening here. Bountiful, Xenu, you know where we’re going.

Duana and Lainey, don’t be ridiculous. It’s just her hair! It’s just her hair!

It’s never just anything. It’s never just a pair of jeans or a striped dress. It’s never not about image-making and public opinion. For almost 3 weeks now we have talked about Katie Holmes like she unchained herself and ran to freedom in the dead of night, an oppressed single mother who bravely engineered her own liberation. It’s not like she doesn’t know that. It’s not like she wouldn’t want to look the part either. And, well, we’ve established through all this that she’s savvier than we gave her credit for, non?

Anyway, everyone’s been freaking out today because there was a minor collision involving Katie’s car and a truck last night. No one was hurt. But it won’t be long before someone speculates that it was a bungled assassination attempt by the Church Of Scientology. If anything, Miscavige and his people should be praying nothing happens to her. Because the minute something goes down, the heat is ONLY on them.

Click here if you want to know more about the car accident which was the most read story on PEOPLE today. Look at the picture of that car. I’ve caused more damage scraping the pole in my parkade and this is the top headline in entertainment today.

Attached - Katie and Suri at gymnastics.