A trailer for David Cronenberg’s upcoming Crimes of the Future was released a few days ago ahead of the film’s world premiere in Cannes in a couple of weeks. I watched it once, when it first dropped, and while I’ve embedded it below, it f-cked me up so be warned if you haven’t seen it yet. 


This is signature Cronenberg – it’s extremely disturbing (I mean we’re basically dealing with mutilation here), it’s a meditation on human evolution via body horror and it is designed to get maximum reaction out of that French festival audience. Cronenberg’s work is often divisive and it seems like Crimes of the Future will follow in that tradition. 

Here’s my dilemma with this movie: I do not f-ck with horror movies so this is probably not my jam…BUT, I very much f-ck with gross body sh-t, and Duana and I regularly share photos back and forth with each other that we’ve found online of brains and veins and growths and fluid oozing from places on the human body that some people find extremely scarring. My husband, Jacek, for example can’t deal with this kink and runs away from me whenever I try to show him the latest image that I’ve come across of a mass of cells and hair taken from inside a body that starts growing teeth. TEETH! Like actual teeth growing off of someone’s kidney or whatever! It is F-CKED and exhilarating at the same time. I lose all feeling in my extremities when I see these things and sometimes I can’t breathe from the shock but I can’t stop, I can’t help myself. 


So what will Crimes of the Future be for me? Is it for me? 

The film stars Cronenberg regular Viggo Mortensen alongside Léa Seydoux and Kristen Stewart. She has a line in the trailer, “surgery is the new sex”, that she delivers with such mischief and malice, it feels fresh in a way that I’ve never seen before from her. So it’s definitely going to be a thing to see them back in Cannes for the festival as Crimes of the Future competes for the Palme d’Or. 

Here’s Kristen with Dylan Meyer in New York today fresh off her trip last week to Monte Carlo where she attended the Chanel cruise presentation. This has to be my least favourite Chanel look on her of all time. 

Kristen Stewart attends the Chanel Cruise 2023 Collection on May 05, 2022 in Monte-Carlo, Monaco