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Holy Motors was my favourite film of Cannes 2012. What’s it about? I don’t actually know. It’s a giant mind f-ck that I can’t wait to see again and again. We can love what we can’t understand, can’t we? Kylie Minogue is in it. And Eva Mendes. Does that make you mad? That Eva Mendes is involved in something (good) that people keep talking about? People are predicting Holy Motors will win the Palme d’Or. At my screening I swear the French were beating themselves off afterwards with excitement. Film wankers of course started preaching about all the symbolism. I went to that screening by myself. And I wondered whether or not there were any other dumbasses like me who just felt entertained the whole time without actually knowing why.

Eva didn’t make it to Cannes. Not sure the reason. But Kylie was all over the place. And she’s capitalising on that with the release of a new track called Timebomb. The video is below. I’ve watched it twice and I still can’t get remember the song immediately afterwards. If you’re a member of the Kylie devoted though, this is where you live.

Kylie Minogue attended photocalls and premieres for Holy Motors, as well as AmfAR's Cinema Against Aids gala during the 65th Cannes Film Festival.

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