Lupita Nyong’o put her own love life on blast a few weeks ago, announcing on Instagram her intention to “publicly disassociate” herself from her ex-boyfriend after his “deception” and betrayal. I didn’t bother to permanently learn his name because if a man f-cks it up with Lupita, why do we even need to talk about him anymore? 


At the time of her announcement, Lupita had just been seen with Joshua Jackson and some other friends at a concert and people were speculating whether or not this might be a thing. And then she made it clear what her relationship status really is at the moment, and basically declared herself the president of her own Broken Hearts Club. 

This is what I loved so much about Lupita’s decision to publicise her breakup: that she is intentionally adding a new dimension to her celebrity. Up until recently we knew her as Lupita the Oscar winner, Lupita the multitalented actor from screen to stage, Lupita the author, Lupita the stylish, and now, it’s Lupita in her heartbreak era… but also redefining what the performance of heartbreak looks like. 


Of course there is pain, of course she is hurt, and she was broadcasting those feelings on social media. But in owning the pain and the hurt, there was power in her vulnerability. Culturally we have an image of what a heartbroken woman looks like, how she behaves, how it’s been presented which, oftentimes, has been … pitiful. 

That’s not been Lupita’s energy though. Lupita has shared that she’s going through it, but nobody is out here feeling sorry for her. Rather, she’s building community. She’s connecting with other people, women in particular, who have been disappointed by love, and grieving those lost expectations, and saying I’m in the same place, and we can heal together. 


And Lupita is healing by welcoming a new love into her life …in the form of a forever companion: Yoyo, her cat! 


I love how Lupita is fully leaning into certain stereotypes and blowing them up. The whole single lady with cats thing? Sure, but make it cool AF. 

This is what happens. When you start sharing your home with a pet, it’s over, it’s done. That’s the love of your life. This creature will never let you down. They will judge you, lol, and they might take advantage of you (my dogs are so manipulative) but they will never abandon you. They will always be there. Lupita will never need to “publicly disassociate” from Yoyo. She will never be deceived by Yoyo. Yoyo is the ride or die.