Y'all are trying to ruin my life. My relationship is in jeopardy. In the past 24 hours, six people have sent me this story about a fan who slid into Michael Bae Jordan's DMs and it actually WORKED. Now that I know that sliding into MBJ's DMs is a legit option, how am I supposed to just go about my day? How am I supposed to go to sleep every night beside a man who ISN'T Michael B. Jordan? HOW?

The story goes like this: Sylvia Wilson is a 21-year-old student at Temple University and a new member of the Avengers because she is a superhero and we should respect her as such. When Sylvia found out that MBJ was at her school, she DM’d him for a photo and offered to buy him a smoothie because the weather was especially hot that day. She is a smart and resourceful hero. 

Buzzfeed has the screengrabs of the conversation between Michael and Sylvia over direct message. She wrote, “Can I buy you a smoothie?” and he responded with, “You don’t have to buy me anything! You can get a pic.” We stan for a kind gentleman. After a small situation at security, which MBJ handled expertly because he is a goddamn angel sent from Beyoncé, Sylvia got her photos. 

I should be jealous. OK I’m a little bit jealous but mostly, I’m happy for Sylvia and happy that she has made it even more evident that Michael Bae Jordan is perfect. Think of what we usually find out when screenshots of male celebs’ DMs get released. It’s usually pervy or embarrassing like James Franco or Justin Bieber. I could go on. If a celebrity is sliding in or responding to a fan’s DMs, it usually means like they’re trying to have sex with said fan. 2018 is wild. Remember when we just put posters of our celebrity crushes up in our lockers and our only chance of talking to them was writing letters to generic fan accounts and you’d never get a response? 

Sylvia is beautiful and it’s quite possible that Michael B. Jordan was trying to hit that but by her account, he was just being a nice human being. He took pictures with her and her friends and that’s it. Plus, in my mind, Michael Bae Jordan only dates women his own age (we’re the same age.) 

In Sylvia’s final act of heroism, she described in detail what MBJ smells like: 

"He smelled like Mahogany Teakwood from Bath & Body Works but better."

Sylvia deserves every single one of the over 150,000 likes she’s received on these photos. Fans are now tweeting that sliding into a celeb’s DMs will now be known as “pulling a Sylvia.” I love the Internet. 

So, the only thing left to do is to draft the perfect opening line of my DM to Michael Bae Jordan, right? Any suggestions? Do you think MBJ is going to regret his act of kindness when he checks his inbox this week? 

If you’re wondering why MBJ was at Temple U in the first place, he’s in Philadelphia shooting Creed II.