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As I said on the show last night, Dolly Parton exploded all over her dress. I can’t…I can’t talk about this dress.

Like what the f-ck in hick town hill billy is she wearing? And seriously, did her parents raise her in a convenience store?

Please…

Please watch this video. Please note her mannerisms. I’m not saying a 16 year old has to dance around at a tea party all day all prim and proper, but the way she carries herself, and the way she speaks…

When she wants to say – What was that?

It comes out…

Wahhh wahhhh thahhh?

Billy Ray doesn’t believe in enunciation? Or school for that matter?

And then!

And then!

She says she has a movie coming out soon so she hopes it’ll be recognised next year at the Oscars.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miley Cyrus nominated for an Oscar?

I would cut my hair if she gets nominated for an Oscar.

And if you could hear me reading this right now, I would be SHOUTING. SCREAMING. I would wake up the Roosevelt Hotel. I would wake up a drunk ass Mickey Rourke 10 miles away. I would WAKE UP Lindsay Lohan out of her coke haze! I would rip the lips off Lisa Rinna! I would rip the beat-me mouth off her child porn face!

Miley Cyrus at the Oscars

F-ck.

I need yoga. Or something. JailBait makes me violent.

Photos from Flynetonline.com and Wenn.com

Miley Cyrus at the Oscars 2009

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