A new teaser for Avengers: Endgame dropped during the Super Bowl and I have been thinking about it for several hours and have come to a conclusion: It makes no sense that Captain America shaved his beard. If anything, he should be even more hirsute now than he was in Infinity War. I get that it was his “disguise”—I maintain that Steve Rogers still does not understand the concept of “disguise”—but that would have been a great sadness beard, too. And look at Cap now, post-Infinity War. He is so sad! He is so sad, at his group therapy session, getting the last of his sad lunch out of his sad teeth. (I get it, he is Very Sad and his jaw is flexing with Great Sadness, but does it not look like Cap has something stuck in his teeth? Admit it, it does.)
The Avengers are all sad—we should call them “Sadvengers”—and determined, and with their sadness and determination they are Looking At Things and Fixing Stuff and Striding With Purpose as they prepare to do whatever it is they will to do restore the people wiped out in The Dustening. We can speculate—everyone seems to agree that there will be time travel involved, although I think Lainey is wrong and Carol Danvers will not be a time-traveler, herself. But somebody is going to have to go back in time, I don’t see how they fix it without a quantum leap or two. Speaking of Carol, I know, realistically, that we won’t see her in an Endgame trailer until after Captain Marvel, if at all, but every time there is something new from Endgame, this is me:
Me telling my wife my theories about the next infinity war movie after watching the post credit scene
I have a theory about what Cap and the others are looking at outside Avengers HQ and it is: Carol Danvers swooping in to help. Not that I think she is going to be a main character in the movie. This is the curtain call of the OG Avengers. I have seen so many fan theories about how X, Y, or Z new character could be introduced, and just, no. There is no way Marvel will let this moment go without its proper due. Endgame is the finale of the story they’ve been telling since The Avengers. It’s going to stay centered on the original Avengers. I hope Captain Marvel does something cool, and makes a case for being a second-generation leader, but I don’t expect her to eclipse any of the original Avengers. It’s their swan song. And it’s their f-ck up to fix anyway. Never forget we’re in this situation because Peter Quill couldn’t keep his sh-t together and Thor has bad aim. And also a bit Cap and Tony’s whole falling out from Civil War. Maybe if they were still talking, they could have actually coordinated and pulled off a workable plan. The Avengers really just need to fix their sh-t.