Sometimes you look at a trailer and think it can go either way—the movie might be better than this, or might be exactly as bad as this trailer is making it seem. Marvel trailers tend to be like that. Between their habit of cutting around any potentially plotty scenes and a standardized edit template, Marvel trailers can be very same-y, a bit boring even, and definitely withholding the good stuff. 

Not so this new trailer for the last X-Men movie as we’ve known them, Dark Phoenix. This trailer is terrible, it makes the movie look terrible, and no, I don’t think there is a chance the movie turns out any differently. Dark Phoenix is doomed. The X-Men will go out on a low note before hibernating until such time as Marvel Studios is ready to reboot them into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The X-Men movies have generally not been good, and the “First Class” run of movies have especially been bad (and aging worse, man, they do not hold up at all), but holy sh-t this one looks HORRIBLE. This is such a waste of some of the most inspired casting in superhero movies.

They’re re-doing the Dark Phoenix story which has already been butchered once, in X-Men: The Last Stand. Only this time, it’s happening to a younger Jean Grey, and the Phoenix Force is…some kind of space magic bullsh-t? In the comics it’s a power within Jean, but here it seems to be blonde Jessica Chastain? I can’t quite figure out what Jessica Chastain is doing here. She’s the villain, obviously, just look at her dye job, but the whole point of the Dark Phoenix storyline is that there isn’t an external villain. It’s just Jean spiraling out in fear and anger. Here though, evil Jessica Chastain is whispering in Jean’s ear and luring her to do bad things.

One of which seems to be killing Mystique. Jennifer Lawrence has been over playing Mystique since about five minutes since she got cast, so I’m not sad if she does, indeed, exit the movie early on. Of course, killing off Mystique will have no consequences and matter not one jot because this whole thing is getting rebooted anyway. Once Disney takes possession of Fox—expected to happen in June—this whole thing is getting shut down anyway. So yeah, kill Mystique. Kill them all, it does not matter.

So this movie is not going to be good. The cast is great, but the movie looks…small. For a story that goes to space, includes a character turning against her team, and having near-unlimited power to play with, it just looks grey and small. I’ve heard some complaints about the Captain Marvel trailers being boring, but Carol never comes across as small. She always looks cool in those trailers. Does Jean Grey as Dark Phoenix look cool? We barely get to see her! They’re not really selling why we should care about this, the last X-movie before Disney takes over. The X-Men are going out on a sad, whimpering note.

Attached - Jessica Chastain out in New York last night.