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A lot of you have been sending me this today: the New York Times video featuring (mostly) world class actors “acting” for a minute.

Let’s call this what it is, ok? It’s a little pretentious and contrived. Come on now…

The black and white, the music, the self involvement disguised as art – this kind of sh-t alienates people. Having said that, it’s given us a lot to talk about. And most of you are talking about James Franco’s portrait. James Franco flirting with James Franco.

I don’t know…

I didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. It didn’t actually bother me at all. I WENT TO FILM SCHOOL bothered me. This actually wasn’t bad. At least not to me. And you know, you know I can’t bear Franco these days. You know he’s become my giant eyeroll.

You know who was bad though?

I’m sorry to say this, because I love him and he’s adorable, but Jesse Eisenberg’s was probably the worst. (OK maybe a tie for first with Chloe Moretz. Suddenly she exhausts me.) Jesus. I had to look away. And not in a good way like for Tilda Swinton whose bare one minute acting made me genuinely uncomfortable. Same goes for Michael Douglas. They’re excellent.

Then there’s Javier Bardem – sex. And Matt Damon – good, but woah the pudge. And the best, obviously, Robert Duvall. Because he was probably like – what do you mean shoot me in a room doing nothing but “acting”. What kind of new age arty bullsh-t is that? I’m just gonna shave. Look, I need to shave. You can film that. So they did.

Click here to see all of them.

 

 

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